The Day When Life Started To Change
by Luinlothana
Summary: After Snape has to end working as a spy he is ordered to keep discretely an eye on Harry during the summer. Will he realise, that his vision of Harry's perfect life is false? ! Warning ! : Awaiting badly needed correction, read at your own risk
1. Bitterness of realisation

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any other character. This text was not written in order to make any profit. All the characters you can find in the text belong to J.K. Rowling.

THE DAY WHEN LIFE STARTED TO CHANGE

CHAPTER 1

Bitterness Of Realisation

Severus Snape sighed. It was the third week he was spending on Privet Drive. This summer wasn't light for him. He recalled the evening four weeks ago. It was only a few days after the beginning of summer vacation.

III

_"Oh, Severus, I'm glad you made it so quickly." There was something in the Headmaster's voice that told him that whatever he was about to hear wasn't going to be pleasant "Please be seated"_

_Severus slowly walked to an old chair situated near Dumbledore's desk and sat wondering what was the news he was going to hear in a moment._

_"As you probably know, Voldemort has been trying to find a leak among his followers for a long time. You managed to look clear for many years but this time it seems he started to suspect you. The situation is serious. During the last meeting he gave each Death Eater different information about the attack that was being planned. He wanted to know which information will reach the aurors. I was suspecting something like that might occur, but unfortunately a few young aurors ignored my warning and went to check the place you told us about from the meeting. In result, I'm afraid that your role as a spy is over now. By appearing at the next meeting, you would only risk your life and any information given to you couldn't be trusted anyway."_

_"What am I supposed to do then? Sit here in case the Dark Lord suspects me, waiting for the others to do all the fighting? You know me, Albus. You know as well as I do that if you forbid me to go to this war at your side, I will go alone without hesitation." The Potion Master's voice began to rise._

_"Calm down, Severus. Your role as a spy is over. That's for sure. Adrian Pucey, our former student will take your place. He has already been forced by his family to take the Dark Mark and he has offered us his help. I'm sure you remember him. He used to be in your House."_

_Snape nodded. It was ironic how much the story of this boy reminded him of his own. He could still remember the day when his parents, upon seeing their pressure not working as well as they desired, finally threatened to kill him if he didn't take the Dark Mark. _

_He could remember the circle of Death Eaters looking at him when Voldemort's wand touched his forearm. He would never forget the burning pain as the mark sank into his skin. Nor the eyes of an innocent Muggle he was ordered to kill to prove his loyalty. This was the first time he had ever used the killing curse. He shivered. _

_After that ceremony, he went straight to Dumbledore and begged the man to kill him. He could not believe that because of him being scared of death, he started killing himself. He was a proud man and he felt disgusted by what fear for his life had led him to do. _

_It was then that Albus asked him to become his spy. Since that moment he had always been one. Only Dumbledore knew about it. For others he was just a wizard from a dark family or, for the better informed, a Death Eater. But thanks to the Headmaster no one had quite enough to prove him guilty. With time he started to define himself as Dumbledore's spy. He didn't think he could start living another life and now he had obviously reached the point when he would have to._

_"Are you listening to what I'm saying, Severus?" The Headmaster's voice brought him back to reality._

_"I'm sorry, Albus. I got lost in thought."_

_"Since you can't be a spy anymore you will have to play another role. From what I know, you don't get along very well with Aurors and if any of them spotted the mark on your forearm it wouldn't help you befriend them."_

_"What's your point, Albus?" Potion Master became impatient. Everything was going in the direction he feared most. Being trapped in his own inaction._

_"After the events of the last summer I started to think I may need a skilled wizard to help Arabella Figg with keeping an eye on Harry. I believe you are the best person for the task at the moment."_

_"Me?" Overcome by shock at the man's suggestion he failed to keep his composure. "You don't want me to take care of that little, impertinent, spoiled... I mean Harry Potter?"_

_"Actually, that is exactly what I want you to do. Well, perhaps 'taking care of' is a bit exaggerated. You will just keep an eye on him to make sure he is safe. You won't even need to show yourself, let alone talk to him. In fact, I don't believe it would be advisable for you to do that. Can I trust you to handle that?"_

_"Yes Albus. You can," he replied after a deep breath to calm himself. "Besides, it could have been worse. I could have been forced to work with Mad-Eye," he made an effort to eliminate the tension, but had to admit that he had failed._

_"Then it's done. You will be staying at Arabella's house. Just make sure you have some Muggle clothes before you go."_

III

After three weeks at Arabella's, Snape started to wonder if the company of Mad Eye would be that appalling after all.

He was sick of cats by now. He had a feeling that the very first thing he would work on when he came back home would be a potion that scared cats away. On the other hand, cats really seemed to like him. Which, of course, made things worse. The only way to get rid of about fifty meowing companions (he had never made an effort to count them) was to go outside. He was just walking by the house number four wondering if it was better to miss supper or to try to put up with the feline hordes when he heard someone yelling inside the house.

"Come here right this second, boy! It's not even ten o'clock and you have had a whole half an hour rest today. I don't even want to hear you are tired. You should spend time doing something useful. Take the pieces of vase and put them together. I want the vase to look like new in no time. If it doesn't, there will be no food for you today. I'm sure it was your fault Dudley tripped and broke it anyway. For that, you shouldn't be getting food anyway. So be glad that I want to give you a chance. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, uncle Vernon," another voice, a very familiar voice in fact, replied.

"And where do you think you are going?" There was the angry voice again.

"To get some glue to..."

"You were going to get glue and waste it just because you made my son trip on the vase?" The voice was suggesting that its owner was about to boil.

"But uncle Vernon, I need the glue to fix it and I wasn't even there when it happened..."

"Enough! I'm sick of your impertinence boy! Put the vase together and you won't be getting food today anyway," the voice shouted.

"But uncle Vernon... it's going to be the third day."

"Silence boy! Haven't you heard what I've just said? I'm sick of it. And it is your fault, so stop your stupid complaining and start working. You've already wasted enough time today!"

"Yes, uncle Vernon," the voice replied quietly.

Severus was standing outside, petrified after what he had just heard. Wasn't that some kind of hallucination? Of course Arabella had told him that the Dursleys weren't the best people she has ever seen, but she was known to exaggerate. And he had always considered Potter to be a spoiled child, proud because of something he actually owed to his mother's sacrifice. What he had just witnessed showed him that by judging this boy he might have made one of the biggest mistakes in his life.

TBC

A/N: It's odd how naive parts your own story may seem to you when you revisit them after a long while. But starting with this chapter the story is being revised, which possibly might give it a chance of being completed.


	2. Orgin of prejudice

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any other character. This text was not written in order to make any profit. All the characters you can find in the text belong to J.K. Rowling.

A great thank you goes to Anna for her help beta reading the story.

THE DAY WHEN LIFE STARTED TO CHANGE

CHAPTER 2

Origin Of Prejudice

Snape was standing on the street for a while, not knowing what to do. His first thought, after the shock caused by what he had just overheard, was to Apparate into the house, maybe help Potter with repairing the vase with some spell, if just for the effect of gaining the attention of the Muggles (it was probably the only way to put it back together, anyway) and have a serious talk with the family about the way they treated the boy.

This thought lasted for only a few seconds though. After that, he came to realise that if something could make the way the boy was feeling worse, it would be his least favourite professor Apparating into his house.

And, Severus had to admit to himself, taking under consideration his usual way of acting around the boy (after all managing to treat Potter worse than an average Gryffindor, was no easy feat), he would be probably the last person to have any right to speak in this situation.

Instead he shook his head and started walking to Arabella's house, recalling the moments in his life that made him hate the boy so much. Namely the fact that the boy was walking proof of the greatest failure in his life.

III

_It was three years after their graduation. He had been going out with Lily Evans since their sixth year. During that time, his greatest school enemy had been trying in vain to gain her attention but for some inexplicable reason she preferred to be with Severus. It seemed that the life couldn't possibly be better. _

_That day they went together for dinner to some Muggle restaurant she knew. Then they went for a romantic evening walk. They didn't plan anything, but when he walked her home, she asked him to stay for a while. Perhaps it had been the impact of the atmosphere or perhaps that had been the first time they found the courage, but that night Severus stayed at her house and they went further than just kissing and admitting their feelings. _

_When he woke up the next morning with Lily lying next to him and embracing him, he thought that his life might become happy after all. It wasn't until later, when the girl opened her eyes and looked at him, that his world shattered. _

_When he heard her gasp in surprise, at first he didn't have an idea what happened._

_"What is that?" She was talking slowly, her voice so unlike her own that he instantly knew it had to be something very serious._

_"What do you mean, Lily?"_

_"Show me your forearm, Sev. I thought I saw something. I just want to make sure it was just my imagination." Her voice was shaking while she spoke those words._

_Severus stilled. It hadn't been hard to guess what she was talking about. He hadn't planned it and he didn't know how to act. Dumbledore had told him not to speak to anyone about his role. It would have been too dangerous. He couldn't possibly tell her the truth then, and there was very little space for any other explanation. And she was waiting. He moved very slowly, letting her see the mark on his forearm, thinking desperately what to say. Her eyes widened when she saw the mark._

_"Lily, I'll explain it to you. I wanted to tell you long ago but..." She didn't let him finish the sentence._

_"Monster!" she pushed him away and tears started rolling down her cheeks. "Murderer! I can't believe I could have ever fallen in love with you! Don't touch me! You...you... I don't want to hear what you want to say! All you told me was nothing but a bunch of lies!" She was shaking badly. "I hate you! Liar! Go away! Now, before I call the Aurors! I hate you!"_

III

_He didn't really remember Apparating home. All he could remember was the hate and disgust in Lily's eyes. Every detail of that picture was burned into his mind. The woman he loved more than life itself, standing there, crying, not allowing him to approach any closer, not allowing him to say a word. _

_After he managed to calm down a little he went straight to Dumbledore to ask him to somehow reason with Lily. The words he heard in reply were so painful that he would have preferred it if the Headmaster had cast _Cruciatus_ on him instead._

_"I'm afraid I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry to say this, but your role as a spy is too important to endanger it by letting anyone know about you. Not with the means Voldemort has. If it helps you any, try to realise that while spying for the Order you are helping to protect Lily's life as well. As for her, from what I know, she started seeing James Potter now. And to tell you the truth, I think it would be better for her. She would be in considerably greater danger if she was with you. James is a good Auror and has very good friends that would help him if he needed them. You are usually alone, Severus. You know that very well, don't you? You are not a Death Eater and you don't want to be one, but outside this room you are considered as one. You would endanger her by spying for me and you would not be able to ask Aurors for help if it is needed. I'm afraid that the best way to prove your love to her is to let her stay with James."_

_Snape was sitting in Dumbledore's office, hardly noticing what was happening around him. Lily, his beloved Lily together with his worst enemy? Together with the man that had made his life a living hell? This sounded like some kind of cruel joke. Was Dumbledore speaking about the same woman who just a few days ago declared she would love him no matter what? Of course, "no matter what" probably didn't include him being a Death Eater. But if the Headmaster refused to explain the situation to her, all was lost. There was no way he could do it by himself._

_"I understand, Albus." He heard himself speak but could not believe he was really saying that. "I just hope she will be happy. And please... make sure he is good to her."_

_"You don't have to worry about that, Severus. From what I've heard, James had been in love with her ever since they met at school. This is just the first time she gave him a chance. I'm sure they will be happy together. As soon as... she forgets."_

_"About the unpleasant experience with her last love and her great mistake of falling for a Death Eater?" Severus tried to keep his voice calm._

_"If you want to take it this way, yes. Please remember it is for her good."_

_Severus stood up and went to the window. The rainy November afternoon somehow seemed to match with his current mood. _

_"Her good is the only thing that can keep me from trying solve this situation by myself, one way or another, Albus. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Right now, I still can't believe this is happening. But my life has been hard enough for me to grow to that realization. To wish her a happy life. I don't think she would feel like listening to me anymore."_

_"I'm sorry, Severus."_

_"I can handle it, Albus. I just need a day or two to get used to the situation."_

III

_It took longer than a few days, but slowly he stopped getting angry at the very thought of Lily and Potter, his worst enemy, together. It wasn't very easy, though. About a month after they broke up (if it was possible to call it this way) Lily married Potter. Severus couldn't believe it happened so quickly. Maybe she wanted to get as far away as possible from her previous life? Or perhaps she just wanted to marry the man while she was still furious at Severus, in order not to regret her decision. He never found the answer. _

_He hadn't been invited to their wedding, of course. He would have been surprised if it was otherwise. Lily had probably been thinking that he hadn't even known about it and as soon as he had found out, he would have cast the killing curse on both of them. _

_He went to see her then, hidden in the crowd near the church. Lily was standing there, in her white dress, on the white snow, smiling. At that point he went away. It was harder to take than he ever thought possible. And it was all happening too fast for him. _

_Later he heard that Lily, Lily Potter (how ridiculous that sounded!), had a child with James. It was then that he started to hate this child, a child that was the reminder of the time when he made his feelings freeze forever. _

_He stopped caring about his look. He didn't think it was worth anything anymore. He tried not to think about Lily. In vain. He didn't talk about her with anyone anymore. And he tried not to pay attention to what was said about her. Until the day when the first part of the war was over. _

_It seemed to be a normal day. Nothing memorable about it. Until the moment he felt a sharp pain on his forearm. He knew then that something unusual must have happened, but he didn't dare to wonder what that could be. _

_An hour later, Dumbledore asked him to come to his office as soon as possible. When he arrived, the Headmaster offered him a seat and didn't say anything for a long while._

"_I was under impression, Albus, that the information you wanted to give me was quite urgent. Could you please tell me what it was?" Severus finally broke the silence_

_"I believe the most important information is that you can have a break for now. Tonight is the night Lord Voldemort was defeated, even though I don't think he is dead, so your role as a spy may not be over yet. Please calm down and sit," he said as the Potion Master stood up rapidly when he heard the news. "There is one more matter you should learn about before you hear it from another source of information."_

_"How...? How is this possible? Who did it?" There were too many questions soaring through Severus's head for him to focus on anything more._

_"It would be hard to answer everything at once, Severus. Let me take it from the beginning, all right?" When the Potions Master nodded, Dumbledore proceeded. "You probably remember the prophecy Voldemort found out about, the one concerning the one that was going to defeat him?"_

_Severus brought himself to nod again. _

_"That was the reason Lily and James Potter had to go into hiding. They secured their safety by making James's best friend, Sirius Black, their secret keeper." Severus motioned him to continue, already fearing the direction the discussion was going. "It seemed they couldn't be safer, but unfortunately it turned out not to be true. Sirius tricked all of us. He revealed their secret. Tonight, Voldemort himself came to kill their child." _

_Severus wasn't able to nod anymore. All he could get his mind to focus on was the thrice-accursed traitor, Black, who betrayed Lily._

_"Did Potter defeat the Dark Lord? I'd have never thought he had enough power."_

_"Please, let me finish what I need to tell you, Severus. It's not easy for me to do that. When Voldemort got to Potters' house he killed James..."_

_"Killed him? But then who...?"_

_"Severus, please. After doing that he went to kill their little boy, Harry. From what I discovered, Lily sacrificed herself to save him. The power of her sacrifice, together with some unusual power of the boy made Voldemort unable to kill him. When he attempted that, the curse came back to him, hitting him instead. It wasn't, as far as I could tell, able to kill him, but now he became just a bodiless creature with significantly diminished power, and he will remain that way until he is able to regain it. I can only hope it will not happen soon."_

_Severus sat there horror-struck. He could hardly think. Lily - dead? That was something he could not imagine let alone accept as reality._

_"She was supposed to be safer with him," he finally said in a voice devoid of any strength._

_"None of us knew what the future would bring, then. Sirius seemed to be James's most trusted friend. I wouldn't even give a thought to the idea that he may work for Voldemort. And allow me remind you that nobody knew about the prophecy until after their wedding when it was made. And even then I thought them safe."_

_Severus could hardly believe this was happening. He desperately kept telling himself to wake up from the nightmare he was apparently trapped in._

_"It can't be possible. She couldn't have died. She was too young... There were so many things... I never had a chance to explain to her... I told myself, so many times, that as soon as the war was over, I'd tell her the truth. Now I'll never have a chance."_

_"I understand how you feel, Severus. And I still cannot forgive myself for not noticing the danger." The older man went silent for a moment. "I don't know if that will interest you, but I'm taking their son and leaving him in Lily's sister's care."_

_"From what Lily said, they never liked each other much."_

_"Sibling quarrels are rather common, you know, and only being brought up by a relative of his mother can give him protection from Voldemort or his followers before he is ready to stand against them."_

_At this point, a large grey owl flew through the window. Dumbledore rose slowly from his chair, took a letter the bird brought and read the information._

_"If it would make you feel any better, Sirius Black has been caught. Unfortunately, before his capture, he killed several Muggles and Peter Pettigrew who went after him. He had been taken to Azkaban."_

_"How could that possibly help me? How could I draw any comfort from the fact that I won't even have a chance to take revenge on a man responsible for Lily's death?!" _

_"No matter how hard that would be, you wouldn't be able to do that anyway, Severus. One day, Voldemort will return. That much I am certain of. And when he does, you will be needed as a spy again. The war isn't over yet"_

_"But my life is over now, Albus. If you don't mind, I need some time alone right know." With those words the Potion Master took some floo powder and returned to his home._

III

By the time the memory finished replaying before his eyes, Snape, completely lost in thought, reached Arabella's house.

"Good, you are back. I was worrying that you'd miss supper again, Severus." He nearly jumped upon hearing the woman's voice. "I made you a few sandwiches."

"Thank you, Arabella. Would you mind if I ate upstairs?"

"Not at all. I guess you are tired, aren't you?"

"A bit. Goodnight, Arabella."

"Night, Severus."

When he went to his room, before he could realise what he was doing, he took all the sandwiches that didn't seem to contain cat food, packed them carefully and handed them to his owl.

"Isis, I want you to take this to Harry Potter. This street, Privet Drive number 4. Don't let yourself be seen."

As he watched the owl flying to Potter's home, he started to wonder how he could connect the side of him Lily Evans loved so long ago with the hate for the boy caused by nothing but the events the boy didn't know about, let alone didn't remember.

Harry Potter never knew about any relationship between Severus Snape and Lily Evans. Those were the memories the Potions Master wanted to hide from him. The boy nearly found about them when he took the chance to look into his Pensieve. Luckily enough, he seemed convinced it was about James bullying Severus rather than about the relationship between Severus and Lily that started from that event.

How could the boy know that after the point he reached while looking into his memories, Lupin, his father's werewolf friend, threatened to bite his friends next night if they didn't stop? Quite possibly he wouldn't follow through on that threat, but its seriousness was enough to bring the youths to their senses.

None of that the young Potter could know, though.

What's more, Severus couldn't really blame Harry for his mother's choice of sacrificing herself for him. He was, after all, only a little child and wasn't given any choice.

And speaking of that, it was so like Lily to sacrifice herself for her child. Or for any other child, really, if it would only protect them.

For the first time he could remember, Severus stopped thinking about Harry Potter as of a reminder of the painful events, as a proof of something, or as of a spoiled hero. Only now he was hit by the realisation that the world famous Harry Potter was also a boy whom he had never given a chance.

TBC


	3. Mysterious Helper

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	4. Coming to understand

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	5. Observing the boy

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	6. Turns of life

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	7. Of horrible news and necessary steps

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	8. Away from muggle world

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	9. Talks

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	10. Learning old stories

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	11. The New Day

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